Swamping Into My Feminine Power
Last Friday night before work I went swamping. Yes, I said swamping. And, no I’m not talking about wading through a wet marshy piece of land. I’m talking about being surround by a group of women. All of whom I’ve never met and most I never even seen their face. All dancing, stomping, yelling, moaning and surrendering to the emotions living deep inside them.
I recently was introduced to a weekly email called ‘The Joy List’ by my life coach. I’ve been scrolling thru it for months now intrigued by some of the events but had yet to attend one. One event that I saw listed a couple of times seemed to keep calling to me “NYC Sisters Swamp Together.” The description was brief and left me curious as to what the event would really be like.
It simply read “Come swamp together for in an informal, beautiful gathering of sister goddesses. We will explore rage, grief, and turn-on with low light, music, moving our bodies and making noise. We are a group of women informally using this Mama Gena tool in community together!” Upon reading this I was unsure but still committed to finally breaking out of my comfort zone to go swamping.
I showed up early, as usual, uncertain I was in the right place or what to expect. The event leader Evan informed us it would be a swamp express that night. Apparently the studio space was reserved by another group directly after us. She then briefly explained how the evening would go. We would listen to a playlist of songs ranging thru the emotions of rage, sadness, arousal and joy. The lights would be turned very low and we would be welcome to move however the music evoked us.
Sitting in the room waiting, a complete newbie to swamping and a stranger in a group of womxn who it was becoming apparent mostly knew each other through this event, I was both excited and apprehensive. I wish with all my might I could remember that first song that played but I don’t. I do remember feeling slightly awkward and unsure. The music began and the lights were dimmed to a small ring of light in the center of the room.
Slowly the other bodies in the room began to stomp, swirl, wail and scream out in rage.
As the playlist continued I closed my eyes and tried to let my feelings move me. I noticed how unsure I felt in my movements or what was driving them. The bodies around me began releasing more primal growls and screams and I felt myself want to yell out in rage, to bellow out the frustrations I have pushed down and buried all my life. The screams that I want to let out in times of anger or frustration during the day but swallow instead.
I felt myself begin to slowly move a little more uninhibited. The experience felt so freeing. At times one persons vocal expression would cause a domino effect of wails across the room. I seemed to become lighter inside as I allowed myself to connect with my sisters through these moments of unyielding emotion.
Over the course of the hour as the playlist gently transitioned from one spectrum of emotion to the next I found myself crying, screaming, melting into a puddle on the floor and not moving, to pounding my fists on the floor and jumping up and down. I felt the energy of the bodies around me. This unexplainable connection to fellow womxn that I don’t think I have ever felt before. Baring witness to so many womxn embodying a range of emotions and allowing themselves to move through them however felt best in that moment.
How amazing it began to feel to be welcomed into a collective of complete strangers, fellow womxn, and be able to witness this primal energy. It was in this hour that I truly understood for the first time the power of a sisterhood. The purpose and power behind a witches coven. The true intense power and connection you can have with a group of your fellow sisters even having never met or seen them before. That we are all bound by our shared energy and the amount of power it can evoke. That we are goddesses.
This studio space in the east village was suddenly a house embodied with an unbreakable feminine power.
As the last song came to an end it was suddenly quiet except for the sound of deep buzzing exhales. Lying there in the dark we were invited to share our favorite frame and our desire. I listened as the voices around me shared frames of feeling connected to the other womxn, of feeling themselves release emotions they didn’t realize they were still holding onto, of feeling moments of joy in signing aloud to the lyrics in certain songs. The desires to embrace their sexual energy more often, to have more clarity and to sit in their emotions more often.
Still feeling a bit unsure, though welcome and safe, I didn’t audibly share my favorite frame or my desire at the time. In my head I said to myself “My favorite frame is witnessing the beauty and power that is our deep primal goddess energy and my desire is to welcome more feminine energy into my life.”
Then suddenly it seemed the next group was filtering in and everyone gathered their belongings. Some womxn stayed behind to share and talk while others promptly left. Knowing I had to get to work, I made sure to personally say Thank You to Evan. I was beyond thankful for what I had just been a part of.
Walking out the door and back onto the New York City streets I had a feeling of internal calm, a sense of power and wholeness. As I walked down the sidewalk, I had a new energy flowing through me. I suddenly and oddly feel more connected to every womxn I passed on the street. It was in that hour surrounded by twirling, rolling, screaming womxn I came to grasp how important it is to connect and join together in our feminine energy. That as womxnly creatures we all have this deep-set of emotions and energies to release and the strength they draw when bound together.
I was now a swamp sister.